The attached resume came over our fax machine today. Alas, the Arkansas Times has no current openings — certainly not for someone accustomed to making $100,000 and having the pull to get a similarly high-paying job for her hubby in the same organization. Maybe your business has something.

Ten years plus of executive experience. Knows where the bodies are buried. Once close to current presidential candidate, though recently separated from his staff.

I wish I had the mailing list of those people who received this letter — people from whom the applicant has previously sought “feedback and guidance.”