My first checks will go to the Arkanas Rep, KUAR and the ACLU. Then I’ll fix all the woodpecker holes in my house siding. (Somebody, please, how do I stop this avian attack? I”ve got at least 10 holes, big as softballs.)

What’s this nonsense about? I’m talking about the $300 million I’m going to win playing Powerball. The odds are one in 195 million, but, hey, somebody has to be the one.

KARK indicates Powerball is on the agenda for the state Lottery Commission Wednesday. It should be approved. Ernie P. says that could mean tickets for sale by early 2010.

Look out woodpeckers.