Would-be Rev.-Pres. Mike Huckabee can’t believe the press finds his 17-year-old writings about the temptations of dancing interesting

The scandal with me is that I wrote a column at age 17 telling Christian young people to live a godly life. So, I mean, I just had to say, is this really controversial? I’d much rather have to defend this than say, yes, I used to regularly be apart of the choom gang. It’s just bizarre.”

I confess that I am so unhip or uninformed that had to look up “choom gang.” Choom is slang for marijuana; the “choom gang” was what a bunch of high school kids in Hawaii, including our president, called themselves. Apparently, despite his fears of the cha cha, the Huck knows all about choom.

Have at it.