OK. I was wrong. The Faith Family Freedom Acts abridges no individual freedoms, except freedom from time-wasting by school officials in the name of mandated patriotic pap.

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Attorney General Leslie Rutledge wants to require the playing of the National Anthem at all school-sanctioned sporting events and at least once a week in school, sporting event or no. Even a 6th-grade track meet, which generally had an audience of about three during my time at Hamilton School is covered. If a school has multiple events in a day, it may play the anthem at only one of them.

Why not mandate the anthem before every band concert, where you have some live musicians on hand? Also, at the end of every school day, just like the TV stations used to do before the test signal.

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She’s also going to amend the existing mandatory Moment of Silence law to require that the mandated moment follow the mandated recitation of the Pledge of Allegiance. She said:

During these moments, Arkansas students can reflect on the sacrifice many Arkansas veterans paid for our freedom.

Yes. Back when prayer was still mandatory in school, I always used that moment to reflect on Jesus, last night’s basketball game and the outfit my crush of the moment was wearing.

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Surely more mandates are to come. Readings from “Atlas Shrugged” and “Art of the Deal”? Or maybe “God, Guns, Grits and Gravy,” the masterwork by a certain former governor. The preamble to the Constitution. Lee’s farewell address to the Army of Northern Virginia. The teaching of the Sermon on the Mount would be welcome at this hellhole.

The legislation is toothless, I’ve discovered. Failure to comply is not even a misdemeanr. But it sets rules on proper decorum and standing with hand over heart (some exemptions are allowed). I’m surprised no crime is spelled out for kneelers.

Please rise (and all schools that lack a recording are granted broadcast rights):

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Alas, I’ve discovered my recording might not follow the very strict rules on exactly what type of anthem may be played. There WILL be rules. Niedermeyer? Where are you Niedermeyer?