Farmer's Almanac

“Bummer. This is a bummer, man. That’s a bummer.”
-Jeffrey “The Dude” Lebowski

Doling out long-range weather divinations, garden advice and tips on what days the fish will bite since 1818, the Farmers’ Almanac can be a cruel — and often accurate — soothsayer. She giveth, and she taketh away. Exhibit A: this ominous sentence in the forecast for the total solar eclipse on April 8: 

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Farmer's Almanac

There are worser fates in the grid, for sure. Woe be unto Bonavista, Newfoundland, for one, whose April 8 is summed up thusly: “Sadly, widespread clouds probably will hide views of the totally eclipsed Sun for Newfoundland. Rain and wet snow.” In fact, Illinois seems to be one of the few places the Almanac affords a sunny outlook.

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But hey, let’s take a deep breath: This publication also suggested in a list of home remedies that one might successfully remove warts with duct tape, so maybe let’s wait and see? There’s still time for the winds to blow in an eclipse gazer’s favor. All eyes on Good Friday, when the eclipse weather fates narrow into sharper focus in Arkansas’s 10-day meteorological forecasts.

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