Gene Lyons

Do you suppose it’s possible that deep in the Stygian recesses of his mind, President Trump actually wants to be impeached?

Riddle me this: Exactly how did the Deep State, anti-Trump conspirators in the FBI and CIA, persuade Trump campaign chairman Paul Manafort to hand over sensitive internal polling data to a Russian spy?

I’ve always found the recurring spasms of anxiety and outrage that accompany the College Board’s every adjustment in what used to be called the “Scholastic Aptitude Test” to be overblown and unpersuasive.

Trump's allegation of Justice Department treason is nonsensical.

A week after the fact, I had to force myself to go back and read The New York Times report on climate change: “Humans Are Speeding Extinction and Altering the Natural World at an ‘Unprecedented’ Pace,” which documents nothing less than the destruction of creation as we know it.

An ordinary hypocrite would know better than to demand absolute freedom of speech for his friends and deny it to his critics in the next breath. But then Donald J. Trump is no ordinary hypocrite.

The beloved humorist Will Rogers surely put it best. "I am not a member of an organized political party,” he said. “I am a Democrat."

As we went to bed last Monday, I told my wife that maybe it was time I retired as a sports fan. It was never going to get any better than this. The Virginia Cavaliers had just won the national championship in a nerve-wracking overtime game against a tenacious Texas Tech team, and I was feeling jittery and euphoric. I can’t think when a ballgame has made me happier.

If you didn’t know Joe Biden was of Irish descent, you might think he was French, or Italian. The man exudes personal warmth. He touches people, leans in close, pats their shoulders, whispers in their ears, and plants unsolicited kisses. Upon women, that is.

So President Trump says the Mueller Report proves his innocence: “No Collusion, No Obstruction, Complete and Total EXONERATION.” As usual, he’s making it up.

If it’s news to you that social climbers see buying their children’s way into fancy, name-brand colleges as the functional equivalent of wearing Rolex watches or driving Maseratis, then I don’t know where to start.

Many people find cats aloof and mysterious, so much so that a small academic/journalistic industry has sprung up to explain the animals to their owners.