“A 26-year-old North Little Rock man who told police he abandoned a woman ‘butterball naked’ outside an empty house after breaking a promise to pay her for sex was sentenced to life in prison Thursday by a jury that convicted him of kidnapping.”

Butterball naked is foreign to me. A chubby person is called a butterball, but that applies whether the person is clothed or unclothed. Is “butterball naked” unique to North Little Rock, or North Little Rock kidnappers? “The note said that unless the ransom was paid, the victim would be left butterball naked on the steps of Verizon Arena.”

As far as I can tell, butterball naked is unconnected with the continuing dispute over buck naked and butt naked, which we’ve discussed before. For those who missed those discussions, buck naked is the right one.

More research is needed on butterball naked. Call your kidnapping friends.


In another courtroom, a judge was entering rough waters. “The issues raised in the suit … require careful consideration before he can make a decision, the judge told a standing-room-only courtroom.”

” ‘I’m floating on a creek right now, and I don’t know which way I can go,’ said the judge.”


Usually, that infamous creek of difficulty is named, and the suggestion made that lack of a paddle worsens the situation. The judge may have felt this terminology would be inappropriate in court.


“When working a team of oxen, they are set up as the nigh and far ox. The nigh ox is the one you walk beside and the far ox is on the nigh one’s right side. The far ox is usually the dominant one capable of working with less supervision. Thus, Adam’s far ox would generally be his best.” Some people, including my father, used off instead of far. Discussing a total stranger, he’d say “I don’t know him from Adam’s off ox.”