FELEIPE FRANKS: Had a monster game against Auburn. Arkansas Athletics

Hogs got screwed, y’all.

That’s it. I can’t say much else on the advice of my medical, legal, pharmaceutical and automotive advisors.

Auburn, of all the damnable programs, is now the beneficiary of an ill-gotten win that I suspect even some of their most delusional backers would concede should be asterisked henceforth. I’m not even going to dignify its present coaching hierarchy with name recognition here, but I think those knuckleheads were super puckered around 18:00 at Jordan-Hare Stadium on that drizzly night. And I do embrace the schadenfreude of that. Lustily.

Arkansas is a good little football team, y’all. And that’s what matters most of all. Flawed as hell, naturally, and way too short on meaningful depth at most positions. Already pretty beat up, too — poor Rakeem Boyd and Treylon Burks clearly need some down time.

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And these guys may not win much more, but boy, do they fight. And they are embracing this new coaching staff during a time where the logistics of running a program are fraught with the wildly changing gravity of coronavirus. Florida’s season took a hard turn on all fronts in the last few days. Things haven’t been easy on LSU, to say <mild chortling fit> the least.

So in a weird way, this little modern-day plague has maybe helped tilt the proverbial playing field a bit? Alabama and Georgia obviously excepted, SEC teams are a jumble at the moment and that’s good for the league, actually. Arkansas could be a happenstance beneficiary now in its own way; when every program around you has to experience the same delays and disruptions, it makes the sport more of a psychological game at the moment. Without the usual rumblings and roars from the stands, are these guys able to focus a little better, play with a different kind of edge than what they’ve been accustomed to?

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I don’t know, obviously. And I am rambling, largely to distract myself from the fact that Feleipe Franks authored an exceptional game and Trelon Smith shined in so many ways, only to be robbed of deserving triumph. Contributions are coming from unexpected sources. On the defensive side, again, Barry Odom tried to mitigate risk and maximize the linebacking corps, and it was pretty effective in spots. The Tigers just have more speed and depth than the Hogs do, natch, so their running game was productive. But quarterback Bo Nix, whose boneheaded, cocksure play isn’t worth a digression, is really not all that special otherwise, and the Razorback defensive line showed some teeth. I liked that. Nothing fires me up quite like a vicious pass rush, except maybe a good decade-plus-old single barrel or random screenings of “Die Hard.”

The special teams cleaned up a bit. I am not quite certain why there’s a Caratan-Bauer punting platoon going on, but they both have good legs and instincts, and A.J. Reed seems like he’ll be just fine. It’s trite, but really this has become an area of the game where mistake avoidance is more valued than electric plays. Ask Mississippi State’s poor return man.

As the sordid, absolutely predictable and totally warrantless cavity search disguised as officiating went down, I was kind of excited to be pissed off again, to be brutally honest. The Auburn offensive coordinator had made me care dangerously little about a program I shamelessly love, and in which I perhaps stupidly continue to invest. So, yeah, standing there in my living room dog-cussin’ and sour-mashin’ my way into a social media tizzy during and after … I felt alive again.

Let’s go kick Lane Kiffin’s ass Saturday.

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