A while ago, a good friend asked, “You’re so normal, why are you single?” For me, a resounding question recently asked by yet another friend. It’s a question I can’t answer because my abnormalities stare back at me. The last few times I’ve let my guard down and thought I’d found something special and real, I later discovered it was a facade leaving me empty handed and heartbroken. A part of me died, but I don’t really miss that wide-eyed girl.

Never really feeling means never really hurting. And yet, how does one truly disconnect emotionally? Do we shut out the surface love for fear it could expand and eventually cause pain? Or, does one jump in, cannonball-style, despite the risk of probable hurt? What is the right route? For me, it’s sitting on edge with occasional dips in the shallow end.