*I once had a Tinder date that resulted in me being his registered companion for free flights for a year. I once had three online dates in one night (the third was by accident). There was the time a standup comedian recognized me from Tinder and worked it into his comedy sketch (embarrassing but hilarious).

*One time on a first date a guy read me poetry he had written and looked at me expectantly, so I said, “That’s really nice,” and he said, “Yeah, I wrote that for a former girlfriend, she loved it.” And then I sat on a barstool and it collapsed underneath me.

Advertisement

*A few years ago, when I was on eHarmony, I was matched up with a gentleman who happened to be a plastic surgeon. That fact didn’t give me a very positive first impression (I imagined a superficial man with a big ego and unrealistic expectations about women), but one of my goals going into online dating was to keep an open mind. There’s a chance he doesn’t spend all day doing breast augmentations, I thought. Maybe he also fixes cleft palates with Doctors Without Borders.

After a few email exchanges, we arranged to meet for lunch. I arrived early, and as I was looking out onto the parking lot, I saw a Hummer drive up. Please don’t be him, I thought. An attractive man in scrubs got out. It was him.

Advertisement

He was in fact a cosmetic surgeon. Doing breast work and tummy tucks were his specialty; he even pointed me toward his website to check out the before-and-after pictures. He was proud of his work. Then, I guess because we were on the subject, he looked at me and said, “Yeah, I know yours are real. They’re nice.” I think I gave him a hesitant ‘thank you,’ after an uncomfortable silence. It was awkward from beginning to end. And that was the end.

Invest in the future of great journalism in Arkansas

Our state is a powerhouse in agriculture, yet the stories of our hardworking farmers are often overlooked. Help the Arkansas Times change the narrative with your contribution. Matched by $25,000 from Report For America, your donation enables us to hire a reporter dedicated to covering agricultural and environmental issues in The Natural State. Together, we can ensure that the efforts and innovations of our 49,000 family farmers are highlighted and appreciated. Support us today and take pride in advancing Arkansas’s agricultural legacy.

Previous article Kemp calls for transparency in judicial race spending Next article Thursday open line