Play at home, while counting the seconds until Trump is out of the White House.
1) In the weeks leading up to the general election, it was revealed that Charles “Bubba” Beckham III, a GOP candidate for Arkansas Senate District 12 near Magnolia, had been kicked out of the Mississippi School for Math and Science in 2000 after he and two other classmates dressed up in full Ku Klux Klan regalia for a Halloween costume event at the school. Which of the following is a real-life follow-up to that revelation?
- A) Dr. Eric Seymour, a physician who now lives in Washington state, was one of several of Beckham’s classmates who spoke out against Beckham, telling the Arkansas Times that despite Beckham’s youth in 2000, he believes the Klan dress-up incident was more than an immature joke. “Though we were young,” Seymour said, “I think they knew full well the implications of such, particularly that it’s a tactic of fear and intimidation.”
- B) Six of Beckham’s former classmates, including Seymour, bought a full-page ad in the Magnolia Banner News that warned area voters that Beckham had terrorised Black students at the school with his Klan stunt, and had “used derogatory names against Jewish students and students of color.”
- C) With a majority of voters in District 12 perhaps seeing Beckham’s pointy-hooded past as a plus, Beckham went on to win his race, unseating Democratic Sen. Bruce Maloch and winning over 56 percent of the vote.
- D) All of the above.
2) Jeri Dianna Tarter, 69, of Jacksonville, was recently arrested by the FBI on charges she tried to hire a hitman, who turned out to be an FBI agent. According to investigators, who was granny allegedly trying to have whacked?
- A) A server at Golden Corral who refused to grant her a senior discount.
- B) God Almighty, for offing her favorite game show host, Alex Trebek.
- C) Every Democratic voter in Michigan, Pennsylvania, Arizona, Nevada and Georgia.
- D) Her former son-in-law, who is seeking custody of Tarter’s granddaughter.
3) Clayton M. Jackson, 34, recently pleaded guilty in federal court on several counts related to allegedly making threats to kill an FBI agent and an FBI public affairs officer. According to investigators, why were they so sure they had a rock-solid case against Jackson when he was arrested?
- A) At the time of the threats, Jackson — who blamed the two FBI employees for his parole being revoked — was an inmate at Arkansas’s Tucker maximum security prison, and sent the threats to the Little Rock FBI office via monitored prison mail.
- B) When interviewed about the threats at the prison in March, Jackson readily told investigators that he had, in fact, made the threats and still planned to act upon them when released from the clink.
- C) During the same interview, Jackson allegedly offered to take a lie-detector test to prove that he was serious about his intention to kill the two FBI employees.
- D) All of the above.
4) Libertarian Ricky Dale Harrington — the sole candidate to oppose Republican Sen. Tom Cotton in the recent race for an Arkansas U.S. Senate seat — didn’t win, of course. But there was one surprising wrinkle to the outcome of the race. What was it?
- A) Soon after his win, Cotton shed his shoddy rubber skin-suit and declared himself the first openly Reptilian-American member of the U.S. Senate.
- B) Cotton won the “Old, Bitter Assholes Who Are Mad at the World” demographic by over 98 percent.
- C) After Jan. 20, 2021, Cotton’s pal Donald Trump won’t be president anymore. Let’s all take a moment to savor that again. Ummmmmmmmmmm, feels nice.
- D) By winning over 33 percent of the vote, Harrington broke the record for the best electoral performance by a Libertarian candidate for U.S. Senate in American history.
5) Hot Springs’ McClard’s Bar-B-Q Restaurant, a local favorite that’s been dishing up fine swine at 505 Albert Pike Road in the Spa City since 1928, recently introduced something that’s a first for the storied Arkansas restaurant. What is it?
- A) “Impossible Ribs,” which feature spicy tofu shaped around “bones” whittled out of hickory while pitmasters wait for actual meat to smoke.
- B) Every member of the waitstaff now carries a holstered water pistol full of barbecue sauce that can either be used defensively or to sauce up patrons’ plates.
- C) A heart specialist with a charged backpack defibrillator will now be on duty at the restaurant anytime it’s open.
- D) A mobile McClard’s barbecue trailer, which new co-owners of McClard’s have set up in the parking lot of West Little Rock’s Bone’s Chophouse. It’s the first-ever spin-off of the 90-plus-year-old restaurant.
ANSWERS: D, D, D, D, D