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Of course not.

But after taking a look at lyrics to “Dan,” an unrecorded Johnny Cash song about Canadian cheese merchant Dan Hill, L.A. Weekly suggests that the Man in Black may have had “lusty and subconscious feelings for a biracial singer.”

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Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but—good Southerners we are—we’ve got to resent the insinuation and suggest that if Johnny Cash were around to see the Sam Hill article, he’d go “Sam Hall” on the entire L.A. Weekly staff.

But if Dan Hill did get Cash’s duster in a knot, what would he think about Dan Hill look-alike Reggie Watts, huh?

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