2012 OZARK UFO CONFERENCE
8 a.m. Best Western Inn of the Ozarks. $90.
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Scoff all you like, all you scoffers and skeptics and naysayers and demanders of peer-reviewed studies. But you cannot deny this fundamental truth: It’s way more fun to believe in aliens and past lives and ESP and ancient Mayan calendar predictions than it is to lumber stiffly through existence insisting that the Official Version of reality is the only one that’s real.
Now, I know what you’re thinking: “But why should I believe in something for which there is no physical evidence?” To which I would say: “People do it all the time. It’s called religion. And astrology. And Powerball. And anyway, aren’t I reading your thoughts? DUN-DA-DUN-DUNNNN!” But I realize that’s not gonna cut it for most folks. Therefore I submit for your consideration the 2012 Ozark UFO Conference in – where else? – Eureka Springs.
This three-day examination of all things extraterrestrial, extrasensory or otherwise extraordinary features a bevy of experts delivering lectures such as “UFOs: Myths, Conspiracies and Realities,” “The E.T. Agenda: Why Don’t They Land on the White House Lawn?” and “The Choice: Using Conscious Thought and Physics of the Mind to Reshape the World.” The conference opens with an introduction to the art of dowsing by Dowser Dan.
In all seriousness though, hanging out in Eureka Springs and drinking with a bunch of UFO experts? Yes, I want to believe.