It seems I can’t turn on the television without seeing a commercial for Halls Cough Drops, featuring a sick young woman hacking her lungs out while she is at work. A tough drill sergeant appears before her and demands to know what is wrong.

“I’m sick, sir,” she croaks.

The drill sergeant then proceeds to pretty much ream her out, because, well, here in America we expect sick workers to show up for work.

She pops a Hall’s Cough Drop – or two – and feels good enough to go back to work. Because, after all, as the announcer tells us, with Halls:


“There is Pep Talk in every Drop.”

And where is she working? In the freezer aisle of a supermarket. And I’m sorry, but that blue smock she has on always makes me think of a certain retail behemoth based out of Arkansas.

But yeah, she is working around food. And she is probably also working around other people who work around food, who also have contact with customers.

Circle of life, baby. It’s a beautiful thing.

When I was still punching a time clock, we were told that one of the reasons companies did not offer sick days was because employees would “abuse” them. This may seem laughable to you, but it might not seem so if you knew how many hourly workers also took up this refrain, and agreed with the company, arguing against their own best interests.

So it’s best if employees come to work and infect other workers with what they have.


Along with the “Employees must wash their hands before hands before returning to work” sign one so often finds in restrooms, perhaps supermarkets should also have signs advising folks to clean their food with sanitizer once they get it home, because some of their employees couldn’t afford to take the day off.


The Manly Men of the GOP

One of the last questions in Saturday night’s GOP Presidential debate was to ask what each of the candidates might be doing on a Saturday night if they weren’t trying to rip apart people they claim to be friend with.

Rick Perry, leading the pack, declared that he would probably be at the shooting range.

Others would be watching basketball games, while Ron Paul would be snuggling up with an economics book.

The only family-oriented answer came from Jon Huntsman, who said that he would probably he on the phone with his sons in the United States Navy.

Because none of these guys, you know, have family here. And god forbid anyone should say, “Well, my wife bought me season one of Bonanza for Christmas, and I hope to catch up on a few episodes.”

The shooting range? Why not just tell us you are reading Water-boarding for Dummies?



How can you you tell when Mitt Romney is upset?

Watching the ever-smarmy Mitt Romney in the GOP debates is fascinating. On one hand, he seems so assured of the nomination that that he just stands there with that supercilious expression on his face, taking it all in stride.

But sometimes . . .

Sometimes the attacks of his GOP rivals get through, and he responds. The best way to tell if the slings and arrows have gotten through?

His voice rises, and he he begins to talk really, really fast.


Quote of the Day

If you reveal your secrets to the to the wind you should not blame the wind for revealing them to the trees. – Kahlil Gibran