In the past few months I have been traveling across the years, and across the miles, and reconnecting with old friends, acquaintances and co-workers – in particular, people with whom I have have serious disagreements with in the past, or fallings out with.
This has been happening about once a week.
Some are men and women that I have wronged and it has pulled at my conscience, and some I have blamed for things long after the expiration date for my anger has slipped by.
Almost like someone engaging in a 12-step program, I seem to be deliberately seeking out parts of my memory, my psyche, to put part of my soul at rest.
Some of the folks I encounter are still alive, but an equal number have slipped this mortal coil, and are living in the next world, or even the one after that.
And I’m not talking about apologizing to folks in my dreams, or listening to apologies from them. I’m talking about friendship restored, or, where there was no close friendship, at least some measure of friendliness.
“I don’t like you having those dreams,” Tracy said, when I told her about them, but in truth, they don’t bother me. I don’t ascribe anything particularly prophetic to them, these journeys onto a part of my nature I had never reflected upon before.
I suppose, as Prospero reflects to Alonso in The Tempest:
Let us not burthen our remembrance with
A heaviness that’s gone.
I suppose I am clearing the decks, as it were, of bitterness I have been holding in for far too long now. And while I realize that some of the folks I travel with in my dreams may never want to talk to me again, I’m not sure that’s the point.
I don’t want to burden my memories with a heaviness that is gone.
And I think that my mind, in a way that I can only marvel at, is helping me through that process.
Quote of the Day
One does not make friends. One recognizes them. – Garth Henrichs