First off, sir, I realize that if If I really want to be considered for a job, I should post my plea on television, but I suspect that you are far more literate than many suspect. Why, Stormy Daniels herself has told us of your fondness for Forbes magazine.

And now that you have hired former Disney Channel actress Caroline Sunshine to work in your press office, why, you have given hope to all of us out there on television, no matter how large or small our audience is.

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Not only have I had my show for 27 years now, but my wife tells me that I am fairly photogenic, on a really good day.

I realize that you don’t like to hire folks with any actual experience for the jobs that you fill, so whatever writing experience I have will just have to be ignored. Other than being a devoted viewer of “Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea” I have no nautical experience at all – perhaps Secretary of the Navy? And the fact that I think it is entirely possible to have windows in a submarine gives me a special edge over other, less photogenic candidates, I think.


I’m not picky, sir. But with so many jobs empty in your administration, I’m sure I could fit in somewhere.

I could make sure that your subscription to Forbes magazine is re-upped on time. I know you’d appreciate that.


Like so many of your appointees, I have a wealth of ignorance; I am sure that we could work well together.

I’ll sign off now, sir. I thought of placing an ad in Forbes, but each issue has so many words for you to have to wade through. Perhaps I’ll just put my resume on YouTube, where you can watch it at your leisure.

In the meantime, I’ll continue to try and Make America Great Again in my own way, a little bit at a time . . .



Today’s Soundtrack

Today’s heartfelt plea to our Great Leader was aided considerably by Gaelic Storm’s CD “Special Reserve.”


Quote of the Day

If you listen, you learn; if you talk, you don’t. – actor John Hurt